Here are some realistic expectations for Christian Based Marriage Counseling:
1. Expect Support for Biblical Values and Faith
Christian based marriage counseling reflects a therapeutic orientation toward the world that is rooted in the Bible. Christian-based marriage counseling affirms Christ Jesus as the Savior of the world and the Lord of all Creation (Colossians 1:16). God is the author of marriage and the architect of its purposes. He is the Counselor and Healer of human hearts and relationships. Marriage is the first human relationship described in the Bible and Jesus and the apostles upheld the primacy of marriage in the family. A healthy marriage blesses children (Proverbs 17:6b). Research upholds the importance of a strong and secure marriage as crucial for children’s emotional health.
2. Expect to be Challenged to Be Honest
God is true and truth is the basis for growth, change, healing, trust, intimacy and character transformation. Without truth, there is no freedom to be who we were created to be (John 8:31-32 “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free).
Christian based marriage counseling will challenge each spouse to be honest about their own behavior, perceptions, motivations, and choices and their impact on the relationship, as the foundation for change. Expecting the challenge to be honest sets the stage for taking responsibility for oneself and facilitates collaboration in a marriage.
3. Expect the Opportunity to Know Yourself Better
Self-awareness paired with clear expression and an openness to learning more about one’s spouse often results in greater emotional connection in marriage. Self-awareness and curiosity about one’s spouse are experiences and choices which Christian-based marriage counseling engenders.
Scripture enjoins spouses to be intrigued by and delighted by their spouse. And Jesus warns his followers not to focus on other’s shortcomings, the speck in their eye, but be willing to remove the log in their own eye first (Matthew 7:3-5).
Effective love flows from a heightened awareness of one’s own inner world, emotions, and relational needs, and from the respectful invitation to one’s spouse to address those needs. Christian-based marriage counseling presents the opportunity to know oneself and share oneself as the foundation of intimacy.
4. Expect the Invitation to Confront Yourself
A couple’s knowledge of how they struggle to connect emotionally and how to connect emotionally is important and crucial, but no less crucial is the desire of each partner to enact necessary changes to their own behavior and perceptions and to make effective choices to connect with their spouse.
Christian-based marriage counseling affirms the free will, responsibility, and agency of each individual because love can’t be forced, it is always a choice.
The outcome of counseling is dependent on each partner’s willingness to own his/her choices, impact on the other, sin, wounds, and reactions without blaming the other. Sometimes unilateral change is needed to catalyze bi-lateral change. Sometimes, the most important question to ask and answer is: “How do I want to live at this moment?” “How do I want to show up?”The expectation to be invited to confront oneself puts the onus for change right where it belongs, on each individual in a marriage. One’s choice is the only thing one can control. Self-responsibility and agency are characteristic of healthy relationships and a healthy marriage, which is the joining of two people who retain their individuality yet are bound together in many ways and in partnership for life.
Hard work of both partners and the power of God can result in the restoration of a beautiful, mysterious and powerful union. If you are interested in Christian based marriage counseling, please contact me or one of my colleagues.
FAQ (Frequently asked questions)
Counseling and coaching are both forms of support aimed at helping individuals navigate personal or professional challenges and achieve their goals, but they differ in their focus and approach.
Counseling typically involves working with individuals who are dealing with emotional or psychological issues, such as anxiety, depression, trauma, or relationship problems. Counselors, who are often licensed mental health professionals, use a variety of therapeutic techniques to help clients understand their thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, and to develop coping strategies to manage their difficulties. Counseling sessions may delve into past experiences and focus on resolving underlying issues contributing to current problems.
Coaching, on the other hand, is more future-oriented and goal-focused. Coaches work with clients to identify their aspirations and develop strategies to achieve them, whether in personal or professional domains. This could involve setting specific goals, improving performance, enhancing skills, or making life changes. Coaches provide guidance, support, and accountability to help clients stay on track and overcome obstacles as they work towards their objectives. Coaching typically does not involve diagnosing or treating mental health conditions, although coaches may address issues related to mindset, motivation, and self-confidence.
The length of a session is dependent on the severity of the need for services. All Initial Discovery/Counseling Sessions are at a 2-hr duration. In most cases each session beyond the initial session is at a 1-hr duration. Clients can anticipate meeting with his/her Counselor/Coach twice a month or weekly, depending on the need.
Clients can anticipate meeting with his/her Counselor/Coach twice a month or weekly, depending on the need. At minimum, the length of time to be in counseling could anticipate about 24 sessions, in a calendar year.
If you feel like you’re not making any progress or if your goals aren’t being addressed effectively, it might be time to find a new counselor.
If you have concerns about your counselor’s professionalism, ethical behavior, or if you feel like there are boundary issues, it’s essential to address them. If they persist, it might be best to seek out a new counselor.
Healing Thine Hearts provide services for both parties, as well as individually. We offer individual counseling and marriage counseling. A client can be married and still receive services, individually.
Before I will officiate a wedding, Healing Thine Hearts require couples to have biblical premarital counseling. Premarital counseling helps the couple understand and plan for a marriage that will glorify God. It also helps the couple set reasonable expectations.
- It helps build a solid, biblical foundation for marriage. A lot of time is spent in Scripture looking at how biblical ideas apply to marriage.
- It helps couples begin a dialogue. Topics like communication, finances, sex and parenting need to be discussed before marriage.
- It points out areas of concern in the relationship. No relationship is perfect. Potential problems, conflict and struggles should be addressed.
- It preserves couples from temptation. Getting engaged can result in couples rationalizing premarital sex. Premarital sex and other temptations need to be discussed.
- It prepares couples for the marriage, and not just the wedding day. Couples can tend to focus on the wedding day and not on the marriage.
An important part of premarital counseling is getting the couple to have serious conversations about their upcoming marriage. Marriages are filled with common problems that most couples experience, and each couple has certain strengths and weaknesses that require a certain approach.
Healing Thine Hearts offers premarital counseling that explores each person’s faith and history. It helps the couple examine personal convictions, expectations for their future and responsibilities they will have. We use assessments, tools, and exercises that will identify and uncover areas of positivity and areas that may need attention. More than anything, premarital counseling aims to produce a marriage that is biblical, God-honoring and sustainable.
Yes. Healing Thine Hearts provides counseling for youth and young adults. Counseling young people is a crucial aspect of mental health support tailored specifically for adolescents and young adults. Our services address a wide range of issues that young people may face, including academic stress, peer pressure, family conflicts, self-esteem struggles, identity exploration, substance abuse, depression, anxiety, and more. Our counselor is trained to create a safe and supportive environment where young individuals can express themselves freely without fear of judgment.
Healing Thine Heart Ministries is a registered 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization. Your generous donations are tax-deductible, helping us to continue our mission of strengthening relationships and building better families